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Unhealthy Relationships

Your financial situation, education, employment status, your gender or culture does not guarantee the type of relationship you will be in. So many individuals are stuck in unhealthy relationships with or without awareness. Some of these unhealthy relationships may lead to violence or long-term psychological effects. Here are some important points that will help you determine if you are in an unhealthy relationship:

  • You are neglecting your needs for your partner
  • You feel pressured to change for the other person
  • You are worried and scared when you don’t agree with your partner, you are afraid of your partner’s reaction in case of conflict
  • You have to justify your actions to convince your partner (for example you told your partner you are at work and your partner wants you to send them a photo for proof)
  • You feel forced or obligated to have sex
  • You are not allowed to have any privacy of your own
  • You experience yelling or physical violence from your partner
  • You feel controlled and manipulated
  • You are criticized by the way you are dressed and your behaviors
  • You don’t spend time with each other
  • You don’t have common friends and don’t respect each others’ friends and family
  • Unequal control of food, money, home, car etc.
  • You are not respected for your choices (i.e.career, personal, social)
  • You feel misunderstood most of the time
  • You don’t feel appreciated and you feel “used”
  • You constantly feel guilty and assume the conflicts are your fault

Just because you agree with most of these statements above doesn’t mean you need to leave the relationship unless you are physically in danger. The first step is to recognize these patterns and seek professional assistance in changing these patterns.

-Ipek Aykol, LMFT 97315